(warning the author is not responsible for complete loss of sanity, or loss of faith in humanity)
Super seriously secret well hidden soviet labratory hidden in the Ural mountains(Did I mention its secet) May 9th. 1955,
a Twinblade lands at the facility in a driving rain, as two scientists approach. A General and his aide emerge from the helicopter as its engine slowly powers down
Professor Borisov: greetings Comrade general how was your flight from Moscow?
General Aldinsky: WHAT?
Professor Borisov: HOW WAS YOUR FLIGHT FROM MOSCOW?!?!?
General Aldinsky: Oh my flight, it was long, I am tired and curious as to why I was called out here
Professor Andriev: Well Comrade, we did it. We created the ultimate weapon against those who would oppose our glorious socialist state!, A destroyer of nations!
Professor Borisov: Possibly a destroyer of worlds comrade
the men approach the facilities high security elevator, two guards and a sergeant at arms stand guard but let the men pass,it takes them to the lowest level of the base
Professor Borisov: Please follow me sir
General Aldinsky: Comrade I am very interested in seeing your results, Comrade Stalin has given you much in the way of funding and patience for this project
The men arrive at a large security gate, a horrible sound is emmited from behind the gate so bad infact the guard dog supposed to protect the gate cowers with its paws over its ears, which is only drown out as the rusty security gate opens, the men enter the room and the general begins to weep tears of joy because there before the men is a glorious piece of Russian engineering. A massive polished vehicle with a giant turret, two giant cannons and rocket pods. On top of the turret is mounted a giant speaker tower. The scientists lead the General closer to give him an in depth look at the gaurgantuan vehicle
Professor Borisov: Comrade General, may I introduce for your approval THE BLOODRUINER SUPER HEAVY TANK!!!!!!!
General Aldinsky: sniff......Its beautiful Professor, but why did you yell its name?
Professor Borisov: Well; that's its name comrade the BLOODRUINER SUPER HEAVY TANK muwhahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
General Aldinsky: couldnt we just call it the Bloodruiner tank, wouldnt it be alo....
Professor Andriev: HUSH!, we are men of science general and as such we must honor this vehicle by the name its creators entitled it with
General Aldinsky: but?... nevermind, just tell me about the tank
Professor Borisov:Very well comrade, what you see before you is a war winner, heavier than a most skyscrapers and with as much firepower as over 9,000 battleships, the earth under it literally cracks as it approaches. Its armament are these two massive cannons, each firing a shell so hot it could melt a man and is powered under that same energy
General Aldinsky: Incindiary power?
Professor Andriev: Nuclear.
General Aldinsky: NUCLEAR?!?!?!
Professor Andriev: Yes Nuclear
General Aldinsky: NUCLEAR?!?! YOU MEAN ACTUAL TACTICAL NUCLEAR TECHNOLOGY!?!?!?
Professor Andriev: Yes, of course for the love of communism why is it so hard to grasp a nuclear tank?
Professor Borisov: sure Beats me
General Aldinsky: BUT?, HOW, WHAT?
Professor Andriev: Well Moving on the two main guns are complimented by missle launchers There, there ,there, there, under there, on top of there and then there. To top off its offensive compliment we created an audio based weapon system, We call it the Lenin park project. With the help of Audio emissions and a horrible whiney , high pitched shrill mixed with some screaming we actually change the chemistry of the enemies mind
Professor Borisov:It is a beautiful tank is it not general?
General Aldinsky: THIS TANK IS A MONSTROSITY, DO YOU REALIZE THIS THINGS BUDGET WOULD HAVE WENT TO FEEDING OUR HOMELESS??!!?! MIGHTY ATHIESMO AS MY WITNESS I WILL MAKE SURE THIS THING NEVER SEES THE LIGHT OF DAY!
Professor Borisov grabs the generals pistol and shoots him
Professor Borisov: COME PROFESSOR ANDRIEV WE CANNOT LET THES OVIETS HAVE OUR CREATION! LETS GIVE IT TO THE ALLIES!!!!!!
Professor Andriev: YES WE SHOULD, THAT SOUNDS REASONABLE!
the tank starts and literally crashes through the super duper top secret strong walls of the base, Soviet soldiers would chase them but are distracted listening to Lenin Parks song Troop Crawler in my skin
Professor Andriev: Wpeff that was a close one, those guy amlost thought about chasing us for a second there
BLOODRUINER SUPER HEAVY TANK: YOUR TELLING ME!!!!!!!!
Professor Borisov: *gasp! You can talk?
BLOODRUINER SUPER HEAVY TANK: WHY OF COURSE I CAN, IM ACTUALLY A ROBOT DISGUISED AS A TANK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Professor Andriev: of couse, it all makes sense now! Thats why I dont remember actually building you BLOODRUINER SUPER HEAVY TANK!
Professor Borisov: Yeah me too!
BLOODRUINER SUPER HEAVY TANK: BEFORE WE GO TO TEH ALLIES WE HAVE ONE THING LEFT TO DO! JOSEPH STALIN IS ACTUALLY AN DOOMSDAY NINJA WIZARD FROM THE PLANET G'LOOR, WE HAVE KILL HIM, WE HAVE TO KILL HIM DEAD!!!!!!!!
Professor Borisov: yyaay mor fanfiction violence! I LOVE YOU BLOODRUINER!
BLOODRUINER SUPER HEAVY TANK: DAAWWWW I LOVE YOU TOO PROFESSOR!!!!!!!