http://files.sharenator.com/head_explode_paradox_time_lets_destroy_the_world-s431x300-105442-580.jpg
(warning the author is not responsible for complete loss of sanity, or loss of faith in humanity)
BLOODRUINER TANK | |
Art by Radoslav S. Tsyganov, age 13. | |
Faction | Soviet Union |
Unit Type | SUPER HEAVY TANK |
Designation | ULTIMATE MEGA-SUPER-WEAPON |
Prerequisites | ALL |
Production Building | AUTOPRODUCES |
Secondary Ability | DEPLOY ATOMIC CORE: DESTROYS EVERYTHING EVER |
Cost | $∞ |
Production Time | 0:∞ |
Heroic Upgrade | BLOODRUINEREST: COVERS ANY WEAKNESSES (NONE) |
Dev. Status | BEHIND YOU |
Country of Origin | File:RussianSSRthumb.gif Urals, Secret, Secret base |
Manufactured at | Classified, unknown. |
Key Features | » As powerful as 9000 Battleships » Massive Cannon » Even more Massive Cannon » Heavier than most Skycrapers » Nuclear Power (Yes, Nuclear) |
"Hello Comrade, Me is BLOODRUINER TANK!"
- - BLOODRUINER TANK
"description a tank that has wheels like bullfrog but has APOCALIPSE TURET ON TOP. also it has misile turets becase apocalipse alwasy has misile turets for air eveyr1 noes that olololol!!!
primary the turets of the BLOODRUNIER ATOMIC TANK fier atomic nuculer bullets!!! teyh hit ppl and then they die like in reel lief they turn yelow and melt and if its a tank then it dies in 1 meybe 2 shots but its balanced bcuz bloodruineer costs 50000 credits. also it is amphibesus like riptide and bullfrog
secondary the tank deployes an AMPLIFIRE FOR A GUITAR and starts playing troop crawler in my skin by Lenin park who is the best band ever but if soviets was a band it wold be better by JUST A TINY BIT!!!!! and every guy in range gest stunned by it bcuz they have to lisen to Lenin park and it also makes spies turn 2 your team becaus that is how it works."
- - Proposal made by Radoslav S. Tsyganov, shown by Eugene Tsyganov to the Ministry of Experimental Sciences. He was answered back with a wall of silence afterwards.
Tactical Analysis[]
- ALL CAPSLOCK ALL THE TIME: Coming from a Secret base in the Urals, the BLOODRUINER TANK is a War Winner, equipped with the entire budget of the money meant to be sent to the Sakha Republic for over 5 years. It's equipped with a concrete wall thick armour of pure steel, armed with all the missiles in the Soviet army and then some and is nuclear powered.
- Reasonable really: One cannot forget that it's also Nuclear powered, with Tesla-powered emergency batteris, Zero-Point energy support, Solar Panels, Lunar Panels and fed with energy from various Leylines.
- Actually a Robot: It's also a Robot, because it's cooler that way.
- Nobody gets Lenin Park Anymore: As a side project, it was also equipped with a Lenin Park sound system to annoy enemies, it's not really much used nowadays.
Operational History[]
Professor Borisov: It’s been three years comrade, what’s taking us so long? Ain’t Stalin dead anyways?
Professor Aldinski: No, of course he’s not, he’s an Alien remember? We’ve gotta fly to that alien fleet that we of course know it’s up there in the atmosphere.
BLOODRUINER SUPER HEAVY TANK: I’M SORRY COMRADE, TURNS OUT THE COSMODROME WAS FARTHER THAN I EXPECTED, ALSO IT WAS CLOSED, BUT NOT TO WORRY, I DID REMEMBER THAT I CAN FLY INTO SPACE.
Professor Borisov: And how are we going to accomplish that comrade? I don’t recall any way of upwards propulsion?
BLOODRUINER SUPER HEAVY TANK: THAT’S VERY EASY, I’VE JUST GOTTA TURN UPSIDE DOWN AND THE POWER OF MY MAGNETS WILL REVERSE THE POLARITY OF GRAVITY AND PROPULSE US AGAINST THE EARTH.
Professor Borisov: Oh, that’s right, how could I forget the awesome power of Soviet Science that’s imbued in the mighty BLOODRUINER SUPER HEAVY TANK!
Professor Aldinski: Yes Professor, I recall our classes of Soviet Science that explained that’s exactly how magnets work.
Not long after in low orbit in the Earth’s Atmosphere Loud Crash as the BLOODRUINER SUPER HEAVY TANK breaks through the Hull of a Spaceship.
Sv’rilk: What was that noise?
BLOODRUINER SUPER HEAVY TANK: IT WAS MY THE BLOODRUINER SUPER HEAVY TANK!
Sv’rilk: How the hell did you manage to get here? We were hiding in Space…besides, you’ve just ruined our daily Blue Danube Session.
Professor Borisov: Magnets Comrade.
Sv’rilk: Oh yeah, that makes sense. I guess you’re looking for your friend Stalin. He’s over there playing Pool with Jimmy Hoffa and Jack the Ripper.
Stalin: Hah, you thought you’d surprise me, but no! Because I’m also a Ninja Wizard, come on my brethren. Let’s form the Super Saiyan Stalin!
Stalin, Hoffa and Jack fuse into Super Saiyan Stalin.
Professor Aldinski: Quick professor, take this gun, I’ll be throwing rocks at Saiyan Stalin from over there.
BLOODRUINER SUPER HEAVY TANK: YOU THOUGHT YOU’D SURPRISE ME STALIN, WELL, THINK AGAIN, BECAUSE I ALSO CAN TRANSFROM INTO A MEGA-MECHA TANK.
BLOODRUINER SUPERHEAVY TANK TRANSFORMS INTO MECHA-BLOODRUINER SUPER HEAVY TANK, which basically looks the same but bigger.
Stalin: Let’s get fighting then and see who of us both is the mightier fight.afsduhargh, my eye!
A stone hits Stalin eye’s making it fall down and crash the Spaceship.
PROFESSOR Borisov: What are we going to do now professor? We’re crashing towards Earth?
BLOODRUINER SUPERHEAVY TANK: Don’t you worry Professor, I’m well versed in the real of Homeopathy, I’m sure I’ll be able to cure you all once we land.
Professor Aldinski: Oh no, I just remembered I left the oven on! We’ve got to return to the Soviet Union, now!
Just the Stats[]
BLOODRUINER SUPERHEAVY TANK | |
Every Tag | |
BLOODRUININ' | |
Cost | ∞ |
Build Time | ∞ |
Health | ∞ |
Speed | ∞ |
Armour Type | Superheavy Talonsteel Carbon Nanotubes Adamantium |
Atomic Cannons | |
ALL THE TAGS! | |
N/A | |
Range | A lot. |
RPS | Excessive |
Damage | All the damage |
Suppression | Loads |
DPS | More than necessary |