To the USSR State Committee for Television,
Comrades, in the aftermath of the horrendous Cherdenko's War, I have seen many of my village, and surrounding villages, and even surrounding cities, full of restless youths. They speak out against glorious Communism and the Premier. They say life is not getting better under Communism, they say that the Allies had good ideas!
I know this not to be true, for indeed Communism has richly benefited our lives (Indeed, our collective had more than enough food to last ourselves and our surrounding co-operative collectives for the winter of 1969). However, I fear these youths are not being ignored by the populace but in fact listened to - and as words can be as deadly in the wrong place as rockets in the gas tanks, if something is not done these youths might corrupt not only other youths, but even the children with their traitorous words.
The Police cannot stop them, as even righteous authority seems to merely spur the youths on to more and more lies and slander against the wonderful Premier. But...I have an idea. The capitalist pigs, their children are made more receptible to capitalism through their television. Instead of shooting the youths (which merely causes more to rise), or sheltering our children from their slander (terrible, as it takes knowledge of the world to realize how good Communism is), what if we showed them through our own wonderful television which your Committee is deservedly proud of the truth about how the world, and our own magnificent Union, works?
I have thought many long nights, when the work was done for the day, and have thought of a television show that might be able to express such statements. I humbly submit my proposal before the State Committee, and await a response whenever it is most convenient for the Committee to issue one.
Problem: Teenaged youths are spreading lies and slander about the effectiveness of Communism, and demoralizing both others of their age, and potentially corrupting the minds of Soviet children. Neither force nor blockage of their message will likely work. In addition, widespread demoralization of Soviet civilians exists in populace. Children and youth have missing parents, siblings, disconnecting them from emotions valuable in establishing happiness and cooperation among Soviet workers. Returning solders "shell-shocked", unable to feel joy again after coming into contact with Capitalism and Imperialism via warfare.
Suggestion: Begin production and distribution of children's educational television program designed to teach children about the way the world works - tentative suggestion is "My Little Drone: Friendship is Communism". To avoid needless and potentially dangerous mistaken confusion of which sides are which, use mechanical drones and vehicles instead of humans. Ensure each episode teaches valuable lessons about Communism and the dangerous systems that oppose it, while encouraging cooperation and strength in unity among Communists instead of infighting.
Setting: Obviously, the setting in which this program takes place must show the benefits of Communism as applied to the world, and also impress upon young minds the joy there is inside a factory, manufacturing goods for the benefit of the Soviet Union. As such, the television program would take place inside an incredibly large structure known as Industria. All characters, good and bad, inside Industria would be made of drones and vehicles, and while humans should be never shown they are no doubt working to further benefit Communism as well outside.
Industria itself is a large, sprawling factory, in which all beings of the program live in. Ruled over by Premier Prolestia in the large manufacturing bay known as Walkergrad, it is an ideal (and truthful, of course) vision of a society united under Communism, where the factory lights turn on and off by worker's committee, and everyone works for the good of all. Meanwhile, a large part of the program shall take place in a small drone collective known as Kennelville, in order to save time and money on the background animations. Kennelville is a small, but busy and prosperous, and the workers there are to be overall epitomes of what an average Soviet comrade can be.
Characters: After doing some thinking, and after reading some of the state-approved manuals on human thinking, I have decided that the best way to make characters relatable to children is to make them distinct parts of Soviet society, giving each of them a specific trait and quality valuable towards making a Well-Rounded Soviet Citizen. After narrowing down such qualities, I have determined six characters will be enough for the main cast, with some supporting characters to provide more, but less important qualities good in people.
Main Characters Edit
- Premier Prolestia - Naturally, there must be some form of authority figure to remind children of the beneficial guidance of Premier Davidova. With this in mind, the 'figurehead' of Industria, head of the Light Committee and diplomat with foreign, non-Communist states should be the mighty but benevolent Premier Prolestia! Portrayed as one of our very own Alkonost Walkers, Prolestia can stand as a more equal figure for the drones (and the children) to look up to and respect. Though she should not be the main character (no child wants to hear about the hard work of Premier, yes?), Prolestia is of course one of the most important.
- Starlight Sparkles - To better increase morale of Soviet children and people, we must convince them that one day we will spread Communism across the earth...and then to the stars themselves! Thus, the absolute main character, representing the element of Communism, will be a Laika Drone who hovers about the heads of all the others, named Starlight Sparkles. Naturally, instead of years studying useless bourgeoisie subjects, Starlight will have gained great knowledge and skill through practical teachings in rocketry, ballistics, and structural and spacecraft engineering, thus encouraging youngsters to learn more about these particular areas of knowledge. Starlight will also deliver the solid, truthful lesson about the greatness of Communism at the end of each episode, when she makes her report on the morale of the other drones in Kennelville.
- Applesnap - Now, encouraging Soviet people to study more the fields of practical technology is all well and good, but I do realize that there are comrades who are not...suitable to go into the admirable Ministry of Experimental Sciences. For these comrades, there is Applesnap - a Terror Drone who works along with her Phobia Drone brother Big Snap on one of the largest co-operative farming collectives in Kennelville with her family and fellow workers. Harvesting 'apples' (batteries) for use in powering all the miscellaneous mechanized comrades in Industria, Applesnap represents the element of Honesty - she never lies or tries to deceive the work foreman when reporting her weekly quotas, nor attempts to pass blame on missing her quota on random outside sources like "fate" or "bad luck". Additional Note: Perhaps have character be styled after stereotypical Chukchi?
- Rainbow Shock - Tesla technology has gained bad reputation to ordinary Soviet peoples. All they see on the news is Tesla Coils frying fleeing soldiers, Tesla Tanks creating blackouts, Tesla Troopers go crazy with power...we must convince these people of the goodness of clean Tesla energy! Thus, there is Rainbow Shock - element of Loyalty. As a Tesla Drone, Rainbow Shock's work is to ensure the proper fluctuation and calibration of the power grid of Industria, and no matter how dangerous or hard it may be she will always continue doing her job to the best she can do. In addition, Rainbow Shock will demonstrate all the myriad safe and beneficial ways Tesla power can be used to improve lives of average Soviet comrade!
- Scarcity - The USSR has prided itself on willing to accept any Communist nation or people willing to further the cause...but I hear that the outside world believed the opposite. The Allies spread lies about how the powerful Soviet Union just takes and takes land, and oppresses the people so that no one would ever willingly join them. To counterbalance this nonsense, another main member of the cast would be a Toxin Drone known as Scarcity - the element of Generosity. While she would be joyful, using her painting supplies within her chassis to both put up motivational posters and also to imprint marks of service onto drones and vehicles who have earned them, she will have a dark secret - once, she was actually the owner of a private business! Yes, this may be shocking, and if it is felt too dangerous for children you should of course remove it, but I feel that learning about how a rampant capitalist turned to the side of good will help make future Soviet workers friendly and willing to help their oppressed brethren in other countries break free of their chains.
- Buzzershy - Not every Conscript is brave on the front lines - yes, Committee, I am aware that no Soviet soldier should be afraid when they have a thousand of their comrades beside them, but even with our education the taint of capitalism is enough to still unnerve them greatly. This has made some of the children afraid to go into battle - they do not wish to be potentially infected by the disease of Capitalism. As such, I suggest another character - Buzzershy - to fight this fright. As a shy Repair Drone, Buzzershy is the holder of the element of Kindness, and gladly repairs all of the vehicles, drones, and assorted others in Kennelville - for free! Soviet children will learn from her how to not be afraid, and that supporting your comrades behind the lines can be just as beneficial as serving on the front lines.
- Pinkie Pie - Of course, the Communist Dream is not all work and work, right comrades? Even the toughest of comrades needs a break once in a while, and Pinkie Pie, a Crisis Drone representing the element of Laughter, will provide a light hearted touch to the serious work of the others. Existing as an entertainer and one of the best bakers of bread in Industria, Pinkie Pie can provide instant parties just by exploding! Vodka, pirozhki, pachlava and more...all the bounty of Soviet work produces the best parties on the face of Industria! By including such a laid-back figure, children will learn that it is good to laugh and joke, even while working to fill the weekly quota of six hundred Hammer Tanks.
Enemies: Even in such a happy show designed to tell our children the great benefits of friendship through Communism, there must be warnings! There are people in the world who are envious of the peace and prosperity visited upon the Soviet Union - and instead of welcoming Communism and integrating it into their own lives, they would instead drag us down to their level! As such, there must be villains in the show...villains that can make our children realize just how horrible the world can be if they do not strive to be good comrades and communists.
- Nightmare Ruin Tank - Just as after ever sunrise there must come the sunset, so too will Communism have detractors jealous of how perfectly it works. And the evil being known as Nightmare Ruin Tank is the counterpart to Premier Prolestia - unlike the Premier's graceful Alkonost profile and masterwork Soviet construction design, the corrupted Nightmare Ruin is instead composed of the flat edges of the Allies' failed 'Future Tank', and is solely interested in the eradication of communism from Industria. The Elements of Harmony, representing the wonderful power of friendship and Communism, is the only thing that can possibly defeat her.
- Magnetrixie - If a Soviet child gets too proud, and thinks himself above his fellow workers, then he would do wise to heed the lesson from Magnetrixie. Made of a failed design known as a Magnetic Drone, Magnetrixie believes herself as being above her fellow drone comrades. The only way to overcome this, of course, is to ensure that she knows that without the support of her fellow drone comrades she will be mercilessly destroyed by the dangers of the world.
- Parasprites - Composed of those Imperial toys Japan calls Burst Drones, Parasprites are remorseless eaters that only seek to invade, swallow the resources where they invade, and then move on leaving the survivors with nothing. Sound familiar, comrades? It should - the Parasprites will allow Soviet children to see the dangers of imperialist powers attempting to expand their borders for such petty reasons as 'divine mandate' or 'more resources'.
- Diamond Dogs - These Talos pig-dogs should be immediately recognisable by Soviet children as the kind of people who love capitalism - greedy scum who take from the proletariat simply to satisfy their bourgeoisie desires. Any free thinking comrade would recognize this as the works of mad people, and realise that they should take cares to avoid or trick them whenever possible.
- Discopter - Should this submission be approved and allowed to be put onto State Television, I foresee the need for other major villains to show good Soviet future leaders just how dangerous other ideologies can be. As such, when even Nightmare Ruin Tank is taken care of, there is still a darker threat present...and that is Discopter. As a Junk Copter, Discopter is a horrifying mishmash of parts and pieces from other vehicles - and represents the lack of community and harmony that Communism brings. In his hatred for camaraderie and brotherhood, he would tear Industria apart if need be.
- Mark and Ket: Look how in the supposedly "free world", man tries to cheat his fellow man as if we were still beasts scavenging for survival, instead of equal partners of the Earth! Mark and Ket, formed from those unfreed Zakmes Drones that still labor in darkness without the light of Communism, would serve to show our children the dangers of the capitalists who appear too friendly on first glance. They use honeyed words and false promises in an attempt to sway the other drones into believing that they will gain a higher efficiency and output by converting to capitalism! But do not worry...it is inevitable that the truth will be found out.
Supporting Cast Edit
Other Characters: Of course, there are many, many characters who populate the lands of Industria, but who for various reasons should not be given too much screen time away from the main six - still, they can help teach useful lessons in friendships and communism to young Soviet comrades!
- Premier Lenina - freed from the bounds of capitalist distortion and absurdity, Premier Lenina once freed is no longer the Nightmare Ruin Tank she once was, but a graceful yet efficient Scythe walker once more. If Prolestia is to teach our young about the wonders of a benevolent ruler, then Lenina should be a reminder of the need for a strong and effective leader. More seperated from the drones than her sister, Lenina will eventually learn to connect while remaining a firm ruler.
- Commissar Rank Commanders - this trio of three eager young comrades should be perfect for younger Soviets, always dedicated towards the betterment of Industria and wanting to help with Communism in any way they can! Always seeking out the best way to get themselves into Commissar training, such little children perform many tasks and trials to determine their strengths and weaknesses - and in the process, encouraging Soviet children to try and find their best skills, that they may too find their most valuable place in the Union!
- Derpyov - Comrades, I have told you about the ruffians and restless youths that are plaguing our wonderful world of communism, and this learning device so that we may avoid more of them in the future. And though we must teach our children about the magic of Communism, we must also warn them about the dangers of these subversive acts. But we must not show these subversives as if they are dangerous, for that is exactly what will emobolden them! Instead, we must ridicule them. Enter....Derpyov. I know, comrades, to equate Kirovs with fools is surely tantamount to subversiveness itself! But hear me out...the mighty Derpyov is a great and powerful force, indeed, but because of this she thinks of herself as above the simple drones working down below. As such, she should always be shown engaging in a foolish, counter-communist activity - and getting embarrassed because of it. I'm sure that it could simply be a background event to not make anything too overt, but it would serve as a lesson to younger viewers to avoid embarrasment in such a way.